The Race That Changed Everything: An Ironman Journey Through Grief to Greater Purpose
Alice never imagined that one race could change her life forever.
Almost three years ago, she stood on the start line of 70.3 Texas alongside her two brothers. They’d trained together for over a year, and after a cancellation and deferral (thanks to Covid) they were finally ready to cross the finish line together. But somewhere amidst the cold water and waves of the Brazos River, something went horribly wrong. Alice’s younger brother had a heart attack in the water. He was gone.
In an instant, triathlon became something entirely different. It wasn’t about pushing limits and chasing goals; it was about grief, loss, and trying to make sense of something that felt impossible.
Alice could’ve walked away from the sport, right then and there, and nobody would’ve blamed her. Instead, she persevered through her grief, started mentoring new athletes, and became a triathlon coach. She set her sights on a goal that once seemed out of reach. She would do a full Ironman in his honor.
This is Alice’s story. It’s a tale of heartbreak, resilience, and healing. It’s about how the good and bad can co-exist. It’s about finding a way forward, one stroke, one mile, and one race at a time.
Alice Wiesner is just like you. She’s a 54-year-old triathlete with a full-time job, a husband, and two daughters. She started doing running races with a friend, which quickly evolved into “let’s go for a bike ride” and “why don’t we go for a swim?” She completed her first triathlon in 2001.
Alice is one of eight kids, and they were all swimmers growing up. They had to be. After Alice almost drown as a child, her mother insisted they all join the swim team. “I must have been 7 or 8 years old,” she says. “My dad was a big sportsman, and we were at a duck-calling competition in Louisiana. There was a roped-off swim area, and I was playing with a tube in the shallow end. It started floating off, and the water was getting deeper. I started to drown.”
Fortunately, another parent saw Alice struggling and brought her safely to shore. After that terrifying experience, Alice’s mother signed up all eight kids for the swim team. “If we were late for practice, they wouldn’t start until we got there, because we were almost half the team!” she laughs. “Some of my older brothers and sisters went on to swim for a city team.”
Once the kids grew up and had families of their own, they started planning vacations around triathlons or half-marathons as a way to spend time together. Alice has done over 50 triathlons, including sprints and Olympics. Her first 70.3 was in New Orleans in 2009. Since then, she’s done 12 70.3 races, including Ohio, Lake Placid, Wisconsin (her favorite), North Carolina, and Memphis.
The Race that Changed Everything- 2022 70.3 Texas
In 2021, Alice signed up for 70.3 Texas and trained alongside her two brothers, Terry and Dan. “It was both their first 70.3,” she says. “We’d done shorter distance races together and family relays. This was post-covid. We’d signed up for the race, trained for it, and it was postponed to the fall and then cancelled, so we deferred to the next year. It seemed like this was the 3rd go-round of training for this race.”
Everyone planned to compete or spectate at the race. Alice’s sister-in-law and friends were doing a relay. Terry had rented a house and brought his entire family. Dan traveled to the race, and their mother drove over from Mississippi. It was a big family reunion. The whole crew did a practice swim the night before, and everything went great. They were ready to go.
Practice swim the day before 2022 70.3 Texas. Alice and Dan on the right.
“We jumped in the water together, three athletes at a time,” Alice says. “In the bay, it was cold and kind of rough. I’ve had some interesting experiences in the swim, but it’s my strength. Terry is a bit faster than Dan and I. When I got out of the water, I saw that Dan’s bike was still there, and I thought he must be right behind me.”
Every time an athlete would pass Alice on the bike, she thought it was going to be Dan. When she didn’t see him, she assumed he got a flat tire. When she got back to transition, she learned the truth. “It was so surreal. I remember the look on Terry’s face when he walked up to me,” she says. “I knew something was wrong. I thought it might be my mom. When he said it was Dan, I couldn’t believe it.”
Dan had a heart attack during the swim and passed away. Eventually, they would discover that he had heart disease. Dan was 47 years old. At the time, his daughters were 8 and 10. In hindsight, Alice says there were signs. The night before the race, they were in the hot tub when Alice noticed red marks on Dan’s back. He’d been foam-rolling a lot, because he was experiencing some pain on his left side.
Alice describes her younger brother as a fit person. He worked out. He trained for triathlon. He wasn’t thin, but he had an athletic build. But all of that masked what was going on underneath. “As triathletes, we spend all this time and money on equipment and working out, but it’s so important to make sure that your internal equipment is good,” she says. “Even if it means just getting a baseline check with a cardiologist. Also, talk about your family history.”
Many of you might be thinking about SIPE (Swimming Induced Pulmonary Edema), which has been reported as a cause of triathlon swim deaths. *If you experience shortness of breath, coughing, or blood-tinged spit during a swim, it’s very important to stop immediately. According to the American Heart Association, symptoms of a heart attack include: chest discomfort, pressure, or pain; discomfort in arms, neck, back, jaw, or stomach; shortness of breath; cold sweat, nausea, and lightheadedness.
Another example that fitness doesn’t necessarily mean health is when professional triathlete, Tim O’Donnell, experienced a “widowmaker” heart attack during Challenge Miami in 2021.
“The takeaway from all this is that you can look fine on the outside, but you might not know what’s going on inside. You think- ‘I’m a triathlete. Of course I’m fit and everything is in good shape.’ But there are things on the inside that you can’t always control. Information is key,” Alice says.
“That day I will never forget. How can something I love so much cause so much pain?”
Processing Grief
In addition to her family, many members of the Victory Multisport team were at the race that day. Alice’s friends and teammates tried to support her the best they could. “My coach, Kenny, called me every day for two weeks and then every other day for weeks after that,” she says. “He’s become like a little brother.”
Alice had already signed up to be the swimmer for a relay team at 70.3 Ohio, which was in three months. At the time, she was still in shock from the loss of her brother and couldn’t imagine competing in another triathlon. “I thought, how can I do it? But then I thought, how can I not? It wasn’t just me. There were other people relying on me. Victory is pretty tight-knit. It’s a family,” she says.
A special moment with coach prior to the start of Ironman Arizona.
Alice went through EMDR therapy, which helped her to process the grief, heal, and release the trauma. She ended up competing at 70.3 Ohio, just three months after Dan’s death. “All my friends were there. It’s pretty amazing the love and support you feel,” she says. “That’s what makes me cry, feeling the love of people. It’s been tremendous and has helped me move forward.”
But it wasn’t all smooth sailing. She had a setback that December when competing at Clash Daytona. Her friend wanted to ride on the Daytona Speedway, so Alice agreed to do the swim. “I thought, no big deal, but I panicked for the first time and held on to every kayak. I was the last person out of the water,” she says. “If it wasn’t for Kim, I would’ve said I was done with this. That’s why I tell people you have to give the swim the respect it deserves.”
Alice’s coach, Kenny, saw she was struggling and encouraged her to get more involved with beginners in the club and mentor newcomers to the sport. As she tagged along on workouts, helping an athlete do their first open water swim, or learn how to clip in on the bike, so found renewed purpose. She decided to become a triathlon coach.
“About a year later, some things happened with work and I thought, ‘Why don’t I train for an Ironman?’ The funny thing is I never wanted to do one before.”
But she didn’t want to do it alone. She convinced her older brother, Terry, compete alongside her. It would be just like Galveston in 2022, except this time Terry would ride Dan’s bike and Alice would use his race belt, so they could all cross the finish line together.
Ironman Arizona 2024
In November of 2024, Alice stood on the start line of Ironman Arizona alongside her brother Terry. It was the first full Ironman for both. “I wanted to do it for Dan and for myself,” she says. “Then, I convinced Terry to do it. He rode Dan’s bike and I had his race belt, so it was like he did the race with us. The long training days leading up to November 17th were hard, but that day was amazing and an experience I will never forget!”
Alice’s friends flew out from Pittsburgh to cheer her on, as well as her husband and kids. There were close to 50 family members and friends at the race, providing her with love and support at every turn.
“Before I even started this journey, I talked with my family and asked if they were ok with this. My husband is always super supportive, but he doesn’t race. He said, ‘I don’t get it, but I support you.’ My oldest daughter thought it was awesome, and the youngest asked me why I was even asking her about it,” Alice laughs..
“The swim was awesome, the bike was fantastic, and the run was a matter of survival. When I think about it, I just smile because I could replay that day over and over again.”
Once Alice got in the water, there was no doubt in her mind that she was going to finish the race. Her main concerns involved a malfunction or flat tire on the bike. She wasn’t necessarily looking forward to the marathon… but she’d worked hard and was prepared. “I was laser-focused and worked really hard in training. I worked on mental preparation and getting into that mindset, which really helped. I visualized how the day was going to go and I stuck to that,” she says.
Alice had a few favorite parts of the course. During the swim, she enjoyed watching the planes go by every few minutes, which provided a helpful distraction. Because she lives in Western PA, she was excited to experience the desert terrain, complete with massive red rock formations and giant Saguaro cacti. The run was the hardest part, but there was a beautiful sunset that welcomed her to the finish line.
“It was such a surreal experience coming down the chute at Ironman Arizona. I dreamt about that for months before the race. Ringing the first timer’s bell and swinging my terrible towel in front of all my Pittsburgh family and friends (we beat Baltimore that day) was one of the happiest times in my life,” she says. “All the hard work and time put into training paid off as I felt good almost all day!”
Finding Renewed Purpose
These days, Alice is a USAT Level 1 triathlon coach with Victory Multisport. She coached an athlete to his first full Ironman in Maryland last fall. Her goal is to continue getting more people involved in the sport of triathlon. “I think the swim is the hardest for people to wrap their head around, and an open water swim is very different than a pool swim,” she says. “I have a lot of knowledge based on experience in that area.”
“When I explain to people how I face the water, considering what happened, they’re like ok, this horrible thing happened to her, but this is how she’s getting back into it. It’s my passion. I want to help people feel more comfortable in the water with coaching.”
Looking to the future, Alice’s sister wants to do “Pour la Libre,” a 10K open water swim from Cancun to Isla Mujeres. Alice has even considered participating in the Senior Olympics.
With the help of her teammates, encouragement of her coach, and love of her family, Alice was able to get back in the water and regain her love for the sport of triathlon. There’s one thing she would like for you to remember.
“Something good can come out of something bad. It can still be bad and it can be good. The two can coexist,” she says. “You can use that to catapult you to doing something that’s hard or out of your comfort zone. Don’t use it as a crutch. Use it to encourage you to do something that’s scary, and you’d be amazed at how fantastic that is.”
Alice recently did a podcast interview about her experience. Give it a listen here.
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