How to Do an Inner Circle Audit: Build a Support Crew For Life
Contrary to popular belief, triathlon is not a solo sport. Whether it's a training partner who helps you push through hard workouts, a coach who believes in your potential, or family and friends that cheer you on at the finish line, your support crew plays a huge role in your success.
The same applies to life.
The people you allow into your inner circle impact your mindset, confidence, and overall well-being. They have the potential to fuel your growth or drain your energy. Think of it like having a support crew for life. Many of us wouldn’t even make it to the start line of a race if it wasn’t for the help of our family, significant other, physical therapist…
Inspired by psychotherapist Amy Morin’s advice on auditing your inner circle, let’s take a look at who belongs in your personal support crew, and who might be holding you back.
"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with."- Jim Rohn
Who’s in your support crew?
In triathlon, your race-day support crew consists of people like your family, friends, training partners, and coach. These are the people who encourage you, provide support, and believe in your potential. Each person in your support crew brings unique something to the table.
Your friend might be the cheerleader, always ready with a high-five and a funny sign. Your husband might be the supportive sherpa, helping carry your race gear and organizing race day logistics. Your coach creates a specific race plan to help you have the best chance at success.
Your personal life should be no different. Surround yourself with those who lift you up and add value to your life. In our personal lives, we often let relationships evolve by default, but it’s important to be intentional about those we allow into our inner circle.
Here’s a quick exercise: Look at the last 5 texts/phone calls you’ve received. Think about how those interactions made you feel. Are those relationships energizing or draining?
Here’s mine:
Husband- Sweet, funny photos and messages that bring joy and love to my life.
Dad- Talking about financial investments. Celebrating a new purchase that will allow him to travel and visit more often.
Coach- Celebrating a recent training win. Always positive and supportive with excellent communication.
Friend- A new athlete who has great questions, positive energy, and wants to learn as much as he can.
Mom- Making a schedule for taking care of the dog. Organizing family dinner.
Now, just because you have a great relationship with someone, that doesn’t mean you won’t hit a rough patch every once in a while. That’s life. But on a whole, the people in your inner circle should build you up, not tear you down. There should be mutual respect and appreciation for what each of you bring to the relationship.
You don’t always have complete control over who you spend time with, like a difficult family member or a challenging colleague. But you can limit interactions with those who drain your energy and cause stress.
Example: Think of a training partner who always lifts you up. When their name pops up on your phone, it makes you smile. You always feel energized and happy after talking with them. That’s the kind of energy you want in your life. That’s someone who belongs in your inner circle.
Learn to let go of what holds you back
Letting go isn’t easy. It can be very difficult.
An example might be a long-term relationship that used to be positive, but has evolved into something more toxic. Maybe it’s a job or project you’ve invested considerable time and energy into, but it isn’t turning out as you’d hoped.
Sometimes, you have to learn to let go of the things in life that are holding you back. This applies to mistakes as well. Release what no longer serves you. Once you’ve identified an area of your life that causes stress, unhappiness, frustration, or anger, ask yourself:
Why is this something worth holding onto?
It’s important to recognize that relationships don’t have to be perfect. People aren’t perfect. But relationships should be supportive and both individuals should feel valued and respected. Relationships shouldn’t involve manipulation or judgment.
When thinking about the relationships in your life, consider whether they:
Build you up, supply positive energy, and provide inspiration.
Or do they chip away at your confidence, drain your energy, and cause stress?
Ask yourself: Does this person energize me or exhaust me?
Example: Let’s say you have a boss who isn’t supportive, makes excuses, and talks badly about his employees when they quit. Does the problem lie with all the employees who’ve left? Or the boss who doesn’t realize that he’s the source of the problem?
Whether it’s negativity or apathy, both can weigh you down over time. If a relationship leaves you feeling worse, not better, it may be time to let go and move on.
It’s okay to love people from a distance
Not everyone belongs in your inner circle, and that’s okay. In triathlon, not every training partner is a perfect fit. Some people have different goals or train at different paces. It’s the same thing in life. Not every person aligns with your values or fits with your personality. Therefore, some people are better loved from a distance.
As a Christian, I believe we’re called to be a light, to show love, and to extend grace to all people. But you must also guard your heart and mind. If someone is constantly draining and brings negativity and stress into your life, you don’t have to cut ties completely. But you can minimize the time you spend with them and the emotional investment you make in the relationship.
Example: Maybe you have an old friend, who you still care about, but she hasn’t followed through on her promises, isn’t being very supportive, and makes snap judgements about your choices. You don’t have to cut her off, but you can limit how much time and energy you invest into the relationship.
Invest in relationships that add to your life
A great coach will teach you, believe in you, push you, and make the journey more fun. The best relationships in life do the same thing. They offer encouragement and support without judgement. Relationships don’t have to be perfect, but they should be built upon mutual respect. If someone drains your energy, causes stress, or doesn’t follow through on promises, consider whether or not they deserve a place in your inner circle.
Example: Maybe you have a friend or teammate who always shows up, both in training and in life. They check in on your goals, celebrate your wins, and offer advice when you need it. That’s the type of relationship worth investing in.
Protect your inner circle
Just like you prioritize your physical health in training, you must prioritize your mental and emotional well-being. Like Jim Rohn says, "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with."
Your inner circle is a valuable asset. Choose wisely.
Step 1: Assess your inner circle
Think about the people you spend the most time with.
How do these interactions make you feel?
Do they build you up? Or cause stress?
Step 2: Prioritize supportive relationships
Identify people who provide positive energy and support your goals.
Seek out like-minded people with similar values to form new relationships.
Step 3: Set healthy boundaries
Boundaries aren’t selfish. They’re like defining your race strategy; set expectations for how you want to be treated.
If a relationship causes stress, undermines your confidence, or makes you feel bad about yourself, it may be time to step back.
Example: Have you ever had a teammate or coach who made you doubt your abilities rather than build you up? Sometimes, stepping away from an unsupportive environment is the best thing you can do for your growth.
👉 Want to build a support crew that fuels your success?
Join my paid subscribers and get the Inner Circle Audit & Support Crew worksheet. Including:
A step-by-step worksheet to evaluate your inner circle
Guided prompts to identify supportive vs. draining relationships
Tips on finding and nurturing your support crew
A reflection section to create an action plan